Momfidence!

Hug Your Dad

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:57:23 -0500

Grieved to say...my Dad just died, not three weeks before his 88th birthday. Burial was Friday.

Couldn't help scattering some memorial thoughts around the Internet:

"What a Dad I Had," MaryJanesFarm.org, "Suburban Farmgirl" post

"A Parent's Death Is Never Expected, Even When It Is," Caring.com, Caring Currents post

"What Every Caregiver Knows: Love Is a Verb," Caring.com

"Should Kids Attend a Funeral?" The Daily WD, Woman's Day "Momfidence" post

Ironically, I wrote "6 Reason's a Parent's Death Is a Special Kind of Loss" for Caring about a week before Dad died -- having no idea it was that imminent.

So weird to be an orphan...

Where You'll Find Me

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:32:10 -0400

I'm triple-bloggin' these days, only in once place about motherhood & momfidence, but thought I'd tell you about all three:

1. For mom stuff: As the previous post says, I'm on "The Daily WD" at womansday.com on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays -- including the return of the weekly Momfidence Lighten-Up-and-Eat-a-Cookie Award.

2. For me/you stuff (BRAND SPANKING NEW!): Starting this week, I'm the "Suburban Farmgirl" blogger at MaryJanesFarm.org. "Farmgirl spirit can take root anywhere -- dirt or no dirt." MaryJane likes to say "Farmgirl is a condition of the heart" -- so if you're into fabulous food, organic living/farming, thrift, camaraderie, can-do spirit, stitching, making, cowboy boots and cuuuute aprons (or just like to think about any of the above), come & visit from wherever you live!!

3. For another kind of caregiving: Down at the eldercare end of the age spectrum, I also post on Tues and Thurs to the "Caring Currents" blog at Caring.com -- the next big frontier in American family life. I cover a lot there about relationships, stress, family conflict, self care and other stuff moms can relate to.

And I still do the print stuff, too, chiefly my favorite, the "Momfidence" column in Woman's Day.

FYI: this old costume pic is of my daughters (in mom-made duds) from my current WD post, and the bicycle is me on my first "horse," from my first Suburban Farmgirl post...and then there's me and *my* Daddyo, from my current Caring.com post.

I'm Over at Womansday.com

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:20:43 -0400

Sorry no Lighten-Up-and-Eat-a-Cookie Awards lately! Between blogging 3x/ week as part of Woman's Day's The Daily WD and 2x/week at Caring.com (where I cover family relationships, among other things, at the other end of the age spectrum), I'm usually opinioned-out before I get here (or else I'm behind deadline on the column or other articles & books & such...not to mention hanging with the aforementioned four kids!)

Sometimes it's hard to resist stealing over here to squeal over something like the amazing study today that shows texting while driving puts you at 23x higher risk of crashing than not texting behind the wheei. SCARY! Where are the Mothers Against Text Messaging? Need to lobby for laws about that risk.

Meanwhile pls do check out the Momfidence posts at the Daily WD (actually check out all of it, one of my favorite sources for everyday tips)...

Reading, Writing, and Finance 101

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:17:43 -0400

Someone in the Wall Street Journal today, commenting on the Bernie Madoff scandal and the financial ruin of the late celebs Michael Jackson and Ed MacMahon, wondered why they don't teach basic finances in schools? Good question. If there's room in the curriculum for recycling, ecology, anti-bullying, respect, black history (in Feb), sex ed, nutrition-label reading, et. al. -- and I'm not saying these don't belong in classrooms, only that they're non-3Rs that have become standards -- then why not personal finance? How to balance a checkbook. Compound interest and the bliss of saving. The perils of spending more than you earn.

Hmmm, maybe there's room for a few quick lessons on laundry, too.

Summer Boredom Busters

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:20:51 -0400

Ok, I admit it, hopelessly overscheduled and functioning on with all the vim and stupor of summertime mode. So let me tell you about other places I'm writing:

Starting today I'm 3x/week in The Daily WD over at womansday.com (where you can also get recipes and save money -- not from me, from the clever and on-top-of-such-things WD editors -- instantly multiplying your incentives to read me over there!)

Direct quote:

So today kicks off my new 3x/week posts here, where I'll answer reader questions about, oh, whatever mom, dad, kid, or family thing is on your mind. Ask away at momfidence@gmail.com. Here's a timely starter (timely because I just heard the same thing today around my house!):

What do you say when your kids say, "I'm bored!" in the summer? I feel like I run out of ideas before the Fourth of July and it exhausts me! --kate

If I'm in a cranky mood I tell them what my grandmother used to tell me: "Go play spit and catch." My godmother would then chime in that we try to kiss our elbows or our noses. Translation: Make up your own fun; I'm sure you'll think of something.

I never run out of ideas for summer entertainment because Chief Entertainment Officer is one job I refuse to assume. Certainly preschoolers have to be entertained, but by the school years, kids who own a decent number of toys and books, have a few friends, and are in full possession of a brain and an imagination (backyard optional, but useful) are capable of thinkin' up their own amusements.

I'm not above organizing the occasional outing: Taking a walk, the library or bookstore, a museum, Costco or Sam's Club, the grocery or bakery. Notice how none of those places takes me too far off my usual paths. (Amusement parks and the like are great, too, but then we're talking vacation.) You’d be surprised how exciting an ordinary picnic can be to a child, especially when he or she is involved in the planning and preparing.

But for the most part, I try to stay out of it. You'd be amazed what they come up with – or how much time they can kill trying to kiss their elbows.

stay tuned...Weds I'll dish on First Momshells.

Shocker Headline: "Gizmos Attract Kids"

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:00:30 -0400

Hey moms, guess what?! Kids 4-14 are increasingly distracted by computers, cellphones, video games, et.al -- and the trend shows "no sign of reversing any time soon.". So says a surprising (!) study by a consulting group. Of course, to kids this stuff falls in the category of "toys." Electronics only are categorized in our own heads as something other than playthings because we know what they cost!

Let Your Child Do the Showing and Telling

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 06:12:18 -0400

This news report about a Pennsylvania judge ruling that the Bible is inappropriate material for Show and Tell in kindergarten caught my eye for obvious reasons. But as I read the story more closely I realized one thing didn't ring true: The mom was coming into class to read Scripture as part of her son's show-and-tell about himself.

Wait a minute! I thought Show and Tell was supposed to be an opportunity for the child to get used to standing up in front of an audience, talking about himself and his interests (or the feather he found on the way to school, the souvenir from vacation, or yes, his favorite book). All religious commentary aside...If you bring your mom in to do the presentation for you, that doesn't count as Show and Tell to me!

Good Nutrition Habits: The Heat Is Off Mom

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:58:48 -0400

From the Studies I Love Department: Parents' influence on eating habits is small, says the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Their research shows that resemblance between parents' and kids' eating habits is weak.

Makes sense to me. How else do I have four such different eaters? How else to explain the chicken nugget years? The one who loves vegetables but no fruits? The bottomless appetite for bright yellow foods (goldfish crackers, Cheez Nips, mac and cheese) I can't abide?

You can influence, but you can't control. And apparently your influence may be smaller than you'd like to think.

Life (and Holidays) Happen

Tue, 26 May 2009 15:39:45 -0400

No this isn't a moribund blog though you'd think so from the way this May is running. fyi, a new thing at womansday.com: A Q&A "Momfidence" blog starts up next month!

You can ask away at momfidence@gmail.com

(That's a pic of the little icon they're using. I feel like a postage stamp! Or a green stamp, anyone remember those?)

Tell Your Kids They Don't Want to Be Miley Cyrus

Thu, 14 May 2009 15:43:04 -0400

New study confirms that wealth, fame, and fetching looks do not a happy person make. In a nutshell:

"...reaching materialistic and image-related milestones actually contributes to ill-being; despite their accomplishments, individuals experience more negative emotions like shame and anger and more physical symptoms of anxiety such as headaches, stomachaches, and loss of energy. By contrast, individuals who value personal growth, close relationships, community involvement, and physical health are more satisfied as they meet success in those areas. They experience a deeper sense of well-being, more positive feelings toward themselves, richer connections with others, and fewer physical signs of stress."

Instead of "Be careful what you wish for" maybe the adage should be "Be careful what you aspire to"!